How I overcame 43 Fears Paralyzing Fears.

We often don't realize how many fears we have, or how much we allow these fears to run our lives. Because they are uncomfortable. Because they are FEARS. Because it's just so much more comfortable not going there. Because what can we do with them anyway?

What I discovered that day and what remains to be true is this: What we don't own, owns us. And if we want to live a fearless, empowered, free, happy life, we must start owning our shit. Because you don't slay dragons by pretending they aren't in the cave.

Here is a list of fears from my first fear cleanse in January 2013. I share it today for a  few reasons. First, to assure you that you're not more fucked up than I was. Second, to illustrate how severely possible great change is when we are ready to do the work.

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Every Relationship An Assignment.

What if I told you that every single relationship that exists in your sphere - from your cheating ex-boyfriend, to the girl that bullied you in the 3rd grade, to your deadbeat disappeared father, to the boss that backstabbed you and stole your idea, to the flight attendant at the Houston airport that kicked you off the airplane and called you racist because you took a picture of her when she was refusing to upgrade you back to first class after you had been laid-over in Honduras for 48 hours, to the co-worker that seems endlessly and confusingly competitive, to the  sibling that seems to know exactly how to make you a raving psychotic anger monger - were there by design?Part of the universal plan to give you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it? There to show you the parts of you that you have forgotten to see, or have refused to see? There to build you into the most beautiful, kind, forgiving, loving version of yourself, one encounter at a time?

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How to have it all right NOW.

Quitting drinking for me was not so much about quitting drinking. It was about doing something I never thought possible. It was about doing away with a set of negotiations and compromises and limiting beliefs that stood in the way of so many fucking doors. A doing away that would lead to more and more doing aways. A success that would lead to more and more success. A realized bullshit fear that would lead me to realize all the other bullshit fears that stood in the way of going after it ALL.

I read this essay by Debbie Millman when I was  new to sobriety and standing on the edge of THAT life, the one that I had always longed to have, the one that I felt was for someone else or maybe, just maybe, was really meant to be mine. And it is a piece I continue to come back to again and again when I forget what I am capable of. 

 

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CBS's #14Day challenge: 10 Tips To Support Your Alcohol Cleanse.

An alcohol cleanse is a low pressure way to not only examine how substances may be negatively impacting your life, but also a great way to explore the benefits of sobriety without the long-term commitment. While I recommend doing it for 30 to 40 days to reap real benefits, CBS's #14Days On The Wagon challenge - a call for America to experience life without alcohol for 14 days (October 6 - 19) while learning about addiction and recovery from the experts - is a perfect opportunity to try an alcohol cleanse in the company of a societal movement.

If you are interested in taking up the challenge, are thinking about planning your own alcohol cleanse, or are already in sobriety and just looking for ways to fortify non-drinking you, here are 10 tips to help you make the most of the experience.

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12 Fabulous Things About Sobriety.

Spoiler Alert: Sobriety is Fabulous.

It's the biggest secret to my success quitting. The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. The skinny jeans at the end of the diet. 

If you are thinking about leaving the drink behind, and are worried that you're also leaving behind a best friend, a social life and gaining a new stigma, here are 12 ways to help you reframe it into your fabulous adventure.

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