Okay, so I finally started vlogging and I'm super stoked about it. For one, because I adore the word vlog. It makes me want to say things like Bob Loblaw's Web Blog. But also because I think it's a really great way to connect even more and to share the many wonderful tools I have learned on my path to sobriety with you. Things like guided meditations, kundalini goodness, chants, breathwork, yoga, tapping, and so much more.
As I was recording myself this morning for this first one and thinking of what content to share, it reminded me that in the beginning of this journey - way back when - I had recorded myself on my iPhone, documenting me as I drank my last drink and capturing the after effects of a 5 day bender. I recorded myself the days and weeks and months after, too, the return to health and vitality caught on film. I had wanted to record my progress, to not only remember how it was done and where I came from, but for a greater point. For this blog.
It seemed so crazy at the time, I was still drinking and inhaling all kinds of pot and food. So broken. And yet I had it so clearly in my mind that one day I would be sitting here at midnight in my clean apartment with a cup of chamomile tea writing on my little MacBook Pro - some leaps and bounds and evolutions later - sharing with you how I had made it not only to sobriety, but really so far beyond.
There is no way to describe what has happened in those months since that first recording. Obviously, my looks changed, obviously my confidence grew. But that's just the icing, just the tip of the iceberg. As I've said before, my life can be cut up into two boxes. The life before I learned what it meant to not drink, and the life after. The former a slow progression through a tolerable life with a severe longing for something more and a clear sense of never having or being enough. The latter not just the escape from that…the latter truly the having of things that I had always assumed were just not for me.
This is not just about sobriety. This is not just about not drinking or how terrible alcohol is for you or how fucked our country is when it comes to it's relationship with our tragically toxic legal drug. This is about YOU. This is about what is holding YOU back. This is about what happens to you when you stop settling what is, stop living in the comfort zone, and start being willing to sacrifice WHO YOU ARE for WHAT YOU CAN BECOME.
Everything in my life, everything that I count a blessing and hold dear, is built on my decision to stop drinking. And I promise you, promise you, that if you are hearing the same call, that this is your destiny, too.
My first video blog, 667 days from my last drink.
I recorded this video on March 30, 2013. As my "last drink". I ended up drinking some two weeks later at a party, and April 13, 2013, was my final quit date. (PS, it was NOT my final cigarette...that took 8 more months.)
Some 44 days after April 13, from a hotel room in Washington D.C.